All through the long winter at Valley Forge
did Washington remain faithful to Martha
anymore than Ike did to Mamie
while grinding up Adolph in the ETO?
Let’s not be silly about these things
which are so biologically human
as to be uncontroversial.
Man alive is not stone or wood
or even bronze in a pose
for everyone to admire
for not being like himself.
Jackson vouched for the “chaste” Peggy Eaton
despite her being snubbed by the haut monde.
Mary Todd Lincoln ended up in an asylum,
Grant was a drunk,
Harding conceived his first child
in the Senate cloakroom,
F.D.R. expired in the arms of his mistress
while Eleanor was making a speech
and with Jacqueline in Greece or Morocco
JFK tried snoozing with Marilyn.
Reagan had wives
while Clinton had Hillary and Monica.
Add this for amusement if not wisdom;
Caesar molested a minor called Cleopatra
as a reward for conquering Gaul,
Caligula married his horse,
Augustine, who hated the idea of saints,
fathered a child out of wedlock
as did Pope Alexander VI many times.
Henry VIII, whom the Church of Rome if not England
called “the greatest defender of the faith,
beheaded his wives for his mistresses.
Napoleon dumped Josephine
to extend the frontiers of his empire,
and, don’t forget Dickens,
the father of ten,
who coveted his wife’s youngest sister
without risking his fine reputation.
Thus if President Clinton has sinned
it’s simply a matter of tastes,
for JFK had the incomparable Marilyn
in the Lincoln bedroom
at the taxpayers expense
while “Slick Willy” merely used the Oval Office
to fondle the Rubens-plump Monica.

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